I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
