Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
