every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
