Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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