You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
