the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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