just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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