she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
