Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize