Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
