she woke up with a sticky ear
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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