I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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