Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
