There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
