Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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