Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think your dad took our porno
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize