Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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