I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
