If i come over, it means nothing
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
