Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
