i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
