I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
