I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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