Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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