I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
