problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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