Pappa wants mamma naked
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
