he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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