i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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