i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
