Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
