so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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