This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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