He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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