sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
