i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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