Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
