in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
