you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
