You're so nebulous sometimes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
