I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
