super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
