I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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