I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
