You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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