nut hugger
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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