it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
