Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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