Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize