I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
now i know why i became what i already was.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What drink are we having for lunch?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
