You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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