I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
