So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
