...so i touched it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
BRING THE BAGELS
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
