I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize