If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
