super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
