We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
