dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
