Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
