i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
