I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
