After last night, I could never be a politician.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
