Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
