Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
did i just pee glitter
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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