people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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