Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My pussy is not your playground.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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