Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
