Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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