so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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