I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
