Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
