i just google imaged poop.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize