dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Send help, water and tortillas.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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