All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
