i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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