I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
