"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
sarcasm needs its own font
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
