She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
